Product review: Tide laundry detergent

I have always used Tide laundry detergent, and after reading this letter written by a VERY satisfied customer, I always will.

Dear Tide: I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate uncaring bastard of a husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a real pain in the ass. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood all over my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well that the kind and considerate detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse came back negative and that I was no longer a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. Shuu, what a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product. Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.