Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Sometimes it is the Destination

I have an exciting vacation coming up.  The hubs and I are taking a road trip with 2 of our 3 kids and our grand daughter.  While on vacation we will be visiting family and attending my 20 year high school reunion.  As excited as I am for the vacation as a whole, there is one thing that I'm doing on this vacation that makes everything else pale in comparison......

I get to see my Grams!!!!!   Some of you may remember me talking about my Grams before, she is one of my most favorite people ever!  The last time I saw my Grams was almost two years ago and she was laying in a hospital bed recovering from a broken neck and serious head trauma.  She had taken a pretty bad spill, and considering her age (85 at the time) the doctors didn't really think she would make it through.  So that visit was spent with my Dad and brother making funeral arrangements and attending to all of Grams affairs.  I still want to cry thinking about it. 

By the time I had to leave to come home, Grams was doing a little bit better, but they still weren't optimistic about a full recovery.  Even if she did make it through the immediate danger, she would probably go into a rest home and never be the same.  I remember the day I said "good-bye" to her in the hospital, I remember thinking that would probably be the last time that I ever saw her, and I remember thinking how happy I was that the kid was with me on his trip.  He had met Grams plenty of times, but this was the first time he was old enough to probably remember really well.  And even though she was in the hospital, all banged up, he would be able to know who she was later on when I talked about her and what an amazing woman she was. 

Now, when I say amazing woman, I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea...Grams is no Saint.  She is one stubborn, crazy, troublemaker.  I probably relate to her more than anyone else I've ever known.  She can be a sweet woman, but she also won't stand for any B.S. and she'll tell you how it is when necessary. 

Well, Grams did recover from her injuries, almost fully.  She has to use a cane to get around, and she says she can't do her daily crossword puzzle anymore.  But I think the same could be said for a majority of 87 year olds.  She has been fortunate enough to continue living on her own.  She lives in a very small town and thankfully there are some really great people who stop in to check on her and make sure she has everything she needs. 

I am so looking forward to seeing Grams and giving her a big hug!  I already felt blessed that she was a part of my life, but I have felt especially blessed the last two years, and am thankful for every extra moment I get with her.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Catching Up

Wow, I can't believe that next month my hubs and I will celebrate our second wedding anniversary.  The last two years have gone faster than any other time in my life, even if at times it felt like I was stuck in slow motion with no hope of ever moving forward. 

Many things have changed in my life these past two years, besides the normal changes that go along with hitching up with another human being.  I think the biggest change has been my decision to let go of things (or people) who brought nothing positive to my little world. 

I've had to distance myself from some "friends" who brought nothing but upheaval into my life simply because they thought they knew certain dynamics of the sometimes complicated relationship that my husband and I share.  I admit, that if I were an outsider looking in, I might not understand what the two of us have.  But the important thing is that the two of us understand what we have and our love is the kind of love that defies logic.  I know that sounds silly, but it's totally true.  I have an absolute love and respect for my hubs, and he knows that, so as long as he knows how I feel about him, I don't care anymore what anyone thinks or their perception of how I treat him. 
Wow, sorry, didn't really mean to go off on that.  But I guess it was bothering me and I wanted, or maybe really needed, to get it out there.

Despite the fact that a few relationships may have fallen by the wayside, the relationships that I need to be in tact are better than ever.  I continue to have a beautiful relationship with my son, even as he inches closer and closer to becoming a teenager.  With every year I realize more how blessed I am to have such an amazing child.  He really has a beautiful soul, and is one of the kindest people I know.  I love the open communication that we are able to share, and I know some people say that will change, but honestly I don't see it happening.   I also have been able to share the relationship with my stepchildren that I had hoped for, but worried wouldn't happen.  They are amazing kids, well, adults now.  We have been able to start spending more time with them and it's been wonderful getting to be there for milestones.  I've also been fortunate enough to forge a relationship with their mom and even her side of the family.  They have all been so kind to me, and treated me like a part of the family.  I cannot even express how much it means to me.  I am so happy that we can all come together at the important moments in our children's lives and not just tolerate one another, but actually enjoy each other's company. 

Life is always evolving, and we can either evolve with it or become sad and bitter.  I have spent plenty of time being bitter about things that I should have let go a long time ago.  My goal now is to just keep moving forward, and to do it (mostly) with a smile on my face.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Change is in the air

Hi, my name is B.B., some of you may remember me.  Where have I been?  Really, honestly it'd be easier to say where I haven't been, which is on my bike.  Some of you already know this, but I have decided to sell my sportster.  It's been a hard decision, and that must be why I haven't really put that much effort into actually trying to find someone to buy it.  But for reasons that are beyond my control I have to get on it and get it done.
I have decided I would really like to get back into my blog, but obviously it will be changing quite a bit and will focus on other aspects of my life and where it's headed now. 
So it may not be of any interest to some of you any more.....of course I haven't written for so long, I don't even know how many people will actually even read this.  But I hope that at least some of you will find some use for my ramblings about daily life. 
In the next week or so I will be changing the title of my blog to better fit its content, so stay tuned because change is in the air......................