Monday, April 11, 2011

Beyond Frustration

So I just looked at my last post...January 5th...What the hell? And that post, while very relevant to my life, had nothing to do with riding, in fact neither have the last 10 or 11. It has been 9 months since I've been on my bike. So that explains why no riding posts, it also explains why I'm a little absent from commenting on other blogs. Because although I love, love, love reading the experiences of those of you who I've come to count as friends...honestly it also pisses me off a little bit. I'm feeling angry, I'm feeling resentful, I'm feeling left out! Please don't take this the wrong way, it's just honest sharing between friends and obviously it isn't your fault that I am where I am. I work hard to support my family, and take care of what needs to be taken care of, and I'm happy that I'm able to do it. I am very happy in general with where I am in my life, but I just feel like when it comes to the bike, I can't get where I need to be. My bike hasn't been registered since July and every time I get "caught up" on everything else something else comes along that needs attending to. Every time I go into the garage I want to cry, my poor bike is just sitting there. And then I start feeling sorry for myself, and then I get pissed off at myself...how can I have this pity party? I have so much more than so many people, and I'm going to whine about what I can't do right now? I also could have put off my upcoming vacation so that I could get the bike registered, but I have made a vow to put people before things in my life, and I need this vacation, I need time with my husband, who has been working 60 hour work weeks ever since we got back from our honeymoon (mostly without pay) and I need to spend time with my son, and mostly I need to see my family. I can't believe how much I miss them, and I can't believe that I'm just now realizing this. I don't know what I'm going on about, just feeling pissy right now I guess. Bottom line is that I am truly blessed! The bike is safe and sound in the garage and not going anywhere, and when I am able I will get back on and make up for lost time, and in the meantime I am going to enjoy the people I have in my life, and I will even try to read all of your riding posts without shedding any tears and shorting out my keyboard.

10 comments:

KT Did said...

It'll be okay. The sun will start coming out this week and hopefully that will kick start you into the outdoors a bit. Sometimes we just need that break too. Its hard to please everyone, but you need to please yourself first and your family. Remember... its just a blog...

B.B. said...

Thanks KT, perspective is a beautiful thing isn't it? Just writing and venting helped me think about how silly I can be sometimes. :)

IHG said...

Big Hugs B.B.! This too shall pass and you will be looking back and wondering why you let it get you down so much. Family is most important so do what you need to do. But you better make time for me if I come to California this year! :)

B.B. said...

Steph, I promise you that if you come out to Cali this year we will definately make time for you!

Lady Ridesalot said...

Family fix! And yes... I'm a junkie for my family. It's very testing on my contentment factor when I'm so far away from all of mine. But, keeping up on FB and texting (good grief, these youngster love to text!)helps a lot.

I hope you have a great trip and enjoy your family time. You'll come back feeling revitalized again... (as soon as you quit blubbering cause you have to leave them) That last part was cause of me. That's how I do it. ;}

Dean "D-Day" said...

Those of us in the northern states feel your pain B.B. I go for months during the winter without a ride. (Which is partly why I don't store the bike in my garage. So I don't have to stare at her sitting all winter.)

Hang in there Bec. Better days are coming!

Mrs Road Captain said...

Hang in there girl, life has a way of working things out...they never suck for too long. Who knows, maybe this vacation will do the trick for your psyche and as soon as you get back something awesome will just fall into your lap and you'll be able to get back on the road again. I have always found that it is amazing what a positive attitude can accomplish.

John Evans said...

OK . . . it's almost a year. :-)

dynamoo said...

Hi,
I like this article and pics very much.This bike is look outstanding and great I like to this bike.
thanks for sharing for this nice post.

biker baby said...

My posts of late have also been lacking in bike related topics. It seems like life just catches up with you. Last summer my other half was not able to ride allot because of constant pain. Not to mention; I was unemployed for a good long strech making it hard to take any real riding trips. Hopefully next summer will find me posting about bike rides and trips.
Here's to the both of us finding some good riding time!