Thursday, April 22, 2010

To The Jack Ass Who Hit My Car

I found out that you hit my car when my man went to pick my son up from school. I really wish you would have left a note, I would have liked to thank you in person for the cute red pinstripe that I now have...oh yeah and the nice dent in the door.
I'm sure considering where my car was parked that it would have been really difficult for you to figure out where I was working and come in to give me a heads up. But hey, who doesn't love a surprise right.
And I'm sure that you must not have had a pen or paper handy to leave a note on my windshield, but maybe you should consider carrying one from now on so the next time you hit a car you will be prepared.
Or maybe you just didn't know what to say, in that case here are some examples you could use next time:

"Sorry I hit your car, I'm a drunk and after I hit it I couldn't stumble out of the car to do anything"

"I was on my way to take my wife to the hospital to deliver triplets, I was afraid I didn't have enough time to make it. I intended on coming back after the delivery, but hey, I have triplets now, I'm really busy."

"I'm illegal, I have no license or insurance, in fact the car I'm driving is stolen, I hope you understand."

"I'm an inconsiderate asshole who doesn't know how to drive, or read or write. Besides, why would I care about the fact that I hit someones car who I don't even know. My car is a piece of shit anyway, you can't tell one dent from the other. Deal with it!"


Big Daddy said...

I was stalking you...and while staring at you thru the window..I hit your car.. Ovbiously I had to get away...Couldn't leave a note.

mq01 said...

ewwwwwwww shit :( im sorry. that stinks.

Canajun said...

Any of the above would be fine, but it wasn't going to happen.
I remember doing something similar in a restaurant parking lot many years ago. The lot was covered in ice and I slid into another car as I was parking. I left a small paint scrape on the driver's door, but I went into the restaurant, found the owner, admitted what I'd done, and provided my insurance info. It was only later that I found out he had both doors and a fender replaced and a complete paint job done as a result of my "damage" to his vehicle. Total cost of repairs was about the same as the value of his car in the first place, and I paid for that many times over in my insurance premiums over the next few years.
So is honesty really the best policy? Not from an insurance company perspective.
Nonetheless, it still sucks!

B.B. said...

Big D.- hmmm, I never even considered that scenario.
I hope you guys are having fun out there, and you're keeping my guy from getting into too much trouble.

MQ- It sucks, but it's just a car.

Canajun- Well, in your case it sounds like it was really an accident, but in this case I can assure you it was just a dumbass who didn't know how to drive. No ice in the parking lot, and the layout and such would have made it pretty hard to hit my car without some serious stupidity. As far as what the car owner did in your case, that sucks, but at least you know that your karma is clear.

Smith said...

It was me... sorry

Willy D said...

I think Dave did it and just ain’t got the nuts to tell you.

BTW – Internet telemarketers are low-life’s.

Big Daddy said...

We Were all safe...And I can Explain about the need for bail....

Anonymous said...

Nice blog you got here... Just droppin' by to say hi!

WooleyBugger said...

Sorry about the car. Some people just suck. But Dave needed the distraction so you wouldn't see him with his wedding dress. Bad karma ya know.