Sunday, October 18, 2009

Expectations

I've been thinking a lot lately about expectations that we have. Expectations for ourselves, for our lives, for those around us.
I've been thinking about how many of these expectations have set me up to be disappointed in myself, in my life, and in those around me.
I've been thinking maybe it would be easier if I didn't have any expectations, no disappointment, no feeling let down.
But what would my life be without expectation? Sure, there would be no disappointment, or would there? But what kind of life would it be to just go without expectation. There is a difference between being able to shrug stuff off when it happens and just being totally indifferent. Indifference is a sad way to live, I've been there. I want to be able to feel the excitement when something goes exactly the way I expected it would, or the surprise when it goes better than I ever could have expected, I guess I even want to be able to feel the disappointment when it just doesn't work out. In the end I guess that's the only way I can truly appreciate the rest of it.
When I really sit back and think about it, expectations have brought me far more joy than disappointment. So I guess I'll go about with my expectations and just work on being able to put things into perspective, things work out the way they are supposed to, whether we like it or not.

13 comments:

FLHX_Dave said...

Yeah, I know what you mean. Indifference always gets me into trouble, however, great expectations have devastated me also. I guess the key is not really expectations but goals.

As long as you accept that things don't always work out the way you planned that it's still alright. I stopped trying to play sniper with life...I now prefer to use a 12 guage...that way if my aim is off, I'm at least going to take something out with each stroke of the trigger.

Canajun said...

Life is not all upside. Sometimes we fail, and sometimes we fail spectacularly. But we never expect to fail, we always expect to win, to succeed. And while it can be painful failure, i.e. not meeting expectations, is a great teacher.
Without failure we become shallow people indeed. Think Paris Hilton.
Set high expectations, achieve some and learn from the others.

Road Captain said...

I for one usually set high expectations and expect to fail and then fail because of self fulfilling prophecy.
As I mature I think the expectations I set before were not the right expectations and have lead me to where I am at and I am trying everyday to appreciate the things I have and figure out what are the right goals to set for the future.
I still want to be rich and famous. But now I put more value on helping other people, developing relationships with people and developing a sense of awe in life's marvels. For example... today we saw a bald eagle just standing in a field. How cool is that?! I was just saying last night that I had never seen one and then bam! There he is.

mq01 said...

funny, when i was younger i would expect/anticipate the three worst case scenarios for bad situations, and generally the results would be better than what i had expected. this always made me happy in the end, but i was worked up worried about the crap during...

i look at things a little differently now. i dont like to anticipate bad stuff, and i try to generally not stress. i dont mean lose common sense so be aware, but instead dont trip on the negative, cause it may not really turn out negative in the end. when negative shit does happen, you deal with it (im thinking daves 12 guage, or play chicken, dodgeball maybe, lol) and move on...

life is like a ferris wheel, its never ending with highs and lows... its how we deal with shit that makes us strong, and you B.B. are a strong chick!!..its all good.. and its great to see you!! :)

Ann said...

Without failure, we'd never learn anything. Sure, there are disappointments in life. But if you learn something from each one, it's not wasted.

Arizona Harley Dude said...

Most of the time I have unrealistic expectations, but that's what leads to success I have found.

If you push yourself past the level you think you can reach you will be surprised how far you can go. If you settle for lower at the beginning and reach that point are you really a success? For my money aiming higher and falling a bit below still places a person higher than settling. The only true failure is in not trying.

B.B. said...

Thanks for all the perspective friends!

"Joker" said...

The yin and the yang. Nothing ventured nothing gained. No risk, no reward...the list goes on.

I never expected to be a gimp for the duration because I love riding Harley-Davidson motorcycles. Then again, I never would have met Susan if I didn't get back on one after the accident. Didn't expect to get hurt/half crippled. Didn't expect to fall in love.

The only thing I expect and usually get is trouble, but I can live with it. The things you get when you're not expecting them may not always be good, but I think they shape more of who we are than stuff we take for granted every day.

I'm not sure what the hell all that really means, but when I read it, it sounds pretty good. I guess I'll go with it.

mrs rc said...

This all reminds me of a story I heard a few years back about the mother & daughter saying goodbye in an airport, and how they wished each other "enough"...enough sadness, suffering, and burdens to appreciate when life gives you happiness and success. It's all about your perspective.

One of my co-workers has a quote in her email signature that reads "If you think you'll fail or you think you'll succeed, either way you will be right."

Willy D said...

I’m a firm believer in Murphy’s Law. Just plan for it.

Big Daddy said...

I expect with good people around you like you have...your expectations should be high and deservedly so.
Aim for the moon...even if you miss, it'll still be a helluva ride.

Mr. Motorcycle said...

With no expectations, comes no rewards. Life without victory and failure would be like life with no feelings. It would be pointless.

Lady Ridesalot said...

Expect the unexpected and reach for your goals!

Great post B.B.

Everyone's comments are great, so I don't have much more to add. Just wanted you to know I'm lurking around! LOL!