I'm here, but I'm not really here

The last few weeks I feel like I have been walking around in a fog. It all started with the stomach flu, or a mild case of food poisoning, not sure really. That lasted for about two days. That joy was immediately followed by the worst case of P.M.S. that I have ever suffered. I was seriously the biggest bitch for days, ask Dave, poor guy just smiled and blew me kisses in fear for his life. I did manage to enjoy my birthday in the middle of it, thanks to my wonderful man who may not always know exactly what to do, but whose trying makes it all okay.
Just when I was starting to get over the bitchies I got a bad cold. Since I don't get paid sick days, and I can't afford not to get paid, I had to work through it. Pretty much every minute I wasn't working I was sleeping. I haven't felt that miserable in a long time. I thought I may have a sinus infection, but it's now clearing up, so I think it was just a cold.
Riley was with going to be with his dad for the weekend and I really wanted to ride, but I still wasn't feeling great Friday night when I went to bed. I woke up Saturday feeling decent, but not 100%. I decided it might be best for me to ride bitch for the day. At least I would get to ride one way or another. But then when I got out of the shower I felt good so I opened up the garage and pulled the girl out to warm her up, she takes awhile to get going. Dave walked out and asked what I was doing, and I told him I needed to ride. We had a great day Saturday, I will post about that later, but then I feel a huge let down after the weekend.
While I was sick I was thinking about my job a lot. I love my job, but I'm seriously considering a career move. My job allows for a lot of freedom and flexibility, but that can also equal instability. I have no benefits of any kind. Thankfully Ry is covered under his dad's insurance, but I have no medical, dental, vision, nothing. I just found out yesterday that a place I used to work is hiring, and I know that they would hire me back. It's totally different from what I'm doing now. It's an office job, Monday through Friday 9-6, totally structured, not much freedom or flexibility. But.... there are benefits. Paid sick time and vacation, medical, dental, vision, 401K. It's hard to compare the pay because my hours always change with my current job, and I pay self employment taxes and crap, but I think it would be a little bit more than what I'm making now. I just don't know what to do. Sometimes I sit here and think, "When did this become my life?" Don't get me wrong, I love my life, and there are very few things about it that I would change, but sometimes it just seems like I'm watching my life like a movie on a screen and it's going by so fast and I'm not sure if I'm actually living it, or just being dragged along.
Whoa, I'm getting way too deep here. I think I've had way too much down time the last two weeks, not a good thing! Anyways, just wanted to share what's been going on with me, I'm sure you can all relate to some degree.

My 18th Birthday! Ha Ha!

Thank you all for the Birthday wishes. I'm sure you all know that Dave was kidding when he said it was my 18th, he's such a kidder. No, this was a milestone for me though....21. Yes, now I can finally go check out some of these biker bars I've been hearing about.

I had a great day. It was a pretty low key celebration, but I had everything I needed, my two favorite boys, good friends, and food! The only thing I didn't get to do that I wanted to was ride, but it was just too busy.

We had a great dinner with Willy D. and Carol. She was also celebrating her 21st Birthday! Unfortunately we forgot the camera at dinner, I would've loved to share pics of Willy D. in his nice clothes. (Not that leather isn't nice, but you know.)

Willy D. and Carol bought me a cute little Teddy Bear.

After dinner we came home and had cake. Dave and Riley made the cake for me, it was so good!

Then we watched a movie that I got to rent free from Hollywood Video. I don't know how many of you have Hollywood Video where you are, but if you're a member you get a free rental on your Birthday, cool huh! We got "The Forbidden Kingdom". If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it, it was awesome!

Riley fell asleep right after the movie so Dave and I decided to open up the bottle of wine that my boss had given me. I'm not usually much of a wine drinker, but I'm not going to turn it down if someone gives it to me. It was White Merlot, I'd never even heard of it, but it was pretty good.

Only problem was that the wine glasses were too small, so I had to find something better to drink out of.

As for the spankings....well a lady doesn't kiss and tell.....hmmm, I don't know really if I'm a lady....ok, well let's just say that the rest of the evening was very good....you can all use your imaginations.

Thanks again for the Birthday wishes. Thanks Willy D. and Carol for sharing the day with us. Thanks Riley and Dave for a wonderful cake, and Dave thanks for everything else!

Thought you might find this interesting

I found this on AMA's website and wanted to share it with you all since this has been a hot topic lately.

AMA urges DOT to accelerate motorcycle crash study
Posted October 6, 2008
AMA President and CEO Rob Dingman called for the U.S. Department of Transportation to accelerate a long-overdue federal study into the causes of motorcycle crashes in a meeting with the agency's head, Secretary Mary Peters, on Friday, October 3. Acting Administrator of the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) David Kelly, and AMA Vice President of Government Relations Ed Moreland also attended the meeting.
"There are an estimated 10 million motorcyclists on the road today, more than at any time in America's history," said Dingman, who heads the nation's 300,000-member non-profit association. "As a direct result of this growth and increased usage, we are experiencing more crashes, injuries and fatalities. Our meeting with Secretary Peters--a motorcyclist herself--was cordial yet frank. We believe she understands the sense of urgency to get this crash research underway."
According to NHTSA statistics released by Peter's office in September, the number of motorcycle riders or passengers killed on U.S. roads in 2007 increased 6.6 percent over 2006, while the overall number of traffic fatalities fell to the lowest number since 1994.
"Some time ago, Congress and the motorcycling community committed the necessary funds for this study," said Dingman. "For too long, NHTSA has simply focused on a strategy of advocating mandatory helmet use, while doing little to prevent crashes from occurring in the first place. With a new administration set to take office on January 20, we can't afford any more delays while motorcycle crashes, injuries and fatalities continue to mount. The time to begin the study is now."
Dingman stressed that while the AMA strongly supports voluntary helmet use as one element of a comprehensive approach to motorcycle safety, a higher priority must be given by NHTSA to crash prevention, which must include greater emphasis on motorist awareness programs to educate road users about motorcycles.
The crash study is being undertaken by the Oklahoma Transportation Center, an independent and well-respected research facility at Oklahoma State University in Stillwater. The last major motorcycle crash study was completed in 1980, and it provided a wealth of data that has been used to develop training and strategies to help keep riders safer on the road. In the decades since, the traffic environment has changed enormously, prompting the AMA to begin campaigning for a new study several years ago.
"The idea behind the motorcycle crash causation study is to help us understand the causes of crashes so that effective countermeasures can be developed," said Dingman. "Absent this study, countermeasures will continue to be developed in a vacuum, with no way to know which measures will be effective."
In their meeting Friday, Dingman also urged Secretary Peters to reject New York City's request to ban motorcycles from high-occupancy vehicle (HOV) lanes. Federal law stipulates that HOV lanes must allow motorcycles to use the lanes unless proven to pose a safety hazard.
"Secretary Peters was supportive of our desire to end New York City's illegal ticketing of motorcyclists in HOV lanes," said Dingman.

B.B.'s Bike Garage

My engine guards finally came in. (One side note, it really bothers me that they are called engine "guards" plural when it's only one piece.)

So any way, my engine guard(s) came in and Dave told me he wanted me to put them on myself. It's not that he's a total loser jerk, it's just that he thinks it would be good for me to do as much as I can myself when it comes to my bike. I agree, I think that's the best way to learn.

Just as I was getting everything that I needed together, a thought occurred to me. Willy D, our prospect needed to do something to prove to me that he was worthy.

I immediately grabbed the phone. "Willy D." I said. "Get your ass over here and put my guard(s) on. He was over here before I could even open my beer. Good boy! The prospect did a good job in a timely manner. (With a little bit of my assistance.)

But then.......

I think he did that on purpose.

After giving him a good piece of my mind, I realized that this was at least a good opportunity to see if the engine guard(s) worked. It was also a good time to practice picking the bike up myself.

I did it mostly by myself, with just a little support from Willy D. It wasn't too bad, but I was thinking once again that I'm glad I didn't get a bigger bike.

I was a little disappointed about one thing. There's a sticker on my guard(s) that basically says they won't help in a collision with another vehicle. WTF? I thought it was a force field!

Riding with the boys

This morning we got the bikes out and rode to the coffee shop and then to the Harley dealership. It's exciting for me anytime I get to ride, but these are two places I've already ridden to. I'm not in a hurry to really get out and go crazy, but I do want to expand my horizons just a little bit every time.
Dave knows me so well, he already knew what I was thinking. He asked if I wanted to ride for a while before I had to go to work this afternoon. He had an idea where he wanted to go, and asked Bernie and Dale if they wanted to go with us. The thought of riding in a group, even if it was just four bikes, was a little bit intimidating to me. I'm used to riding with Dave, and he knows where I have problems and what he needs to look out for. I would never want to cause anybody else to go down if I were to make some stupid move they weren't prepared for. I told Dave I wanted to pick the order we rode. I wanted Bernie to lead and then me, Dave behind me, and Dale in the very back. I mean no offense to Dale, but he doesn't have as much experience as Bernie and Dave, and I didn't think it was a good idea to have the two riders with the least experience right next to each other. And the reason I wanted Dave behind me was because like I said before, he knows where I have problems, and where he may need to back off. I felt good with Bernie leading because he is a great rider, but I knew he wouldn't push me to go beyond my ability.
We decided to take a ride down River Road. River Road is kind of a backwoods type road. It has some long straight shots, some mild curves, some small hills, just a few bumps, and usually very little traffic. And I have a new high speed, 60 mph.
It was such a nice day and we did see some other bikes out, and guess what? I waved! Yeah! I had already told myself not to expect to be comfortable taking my hand off for quite awhile, but when I saw a bike approach I would assess the situation and if I felt ok and the road was clear ahead I would go for it. It's funny how something as small as a wave can be so exciting.
I felt good about going for this ride. Some of my nervousness is slowly starting to be replaced with just good old fashioned cautiousness and awareness. I am learning more about my bike every time I ride. I'm getting comfortable with how she reacts to certain situations, and how I react to her reactions. LOL. Although I really can't wait to take the basic riders course. I know it will help me a lot, especially with my maneuvering in parking lots and driveways.
I did notice that I eased up my grip on the throttle, and didn't rev when I was trying to stop. Every time we go out Dave gives me very honest feedback about how I'm doing and what I need to work on. I take his advice seriously and everything that I've done that he's told me to has helped with whatever the problem has been.
I'm getting more confident, but not too confident. I know that I still have a lot to learn and I am still very inexperienced. I'm just so excited that I'm progressing in a forward direction. And I hope that you all aren't getting sick of me spouting off about my accomplishments. I worry that this may be taken as me patting myself on the back, but it is really meant to be an encouragement to any body else who's in the same position, as well as a progress report for myself. :)

Oh, and one more thing...I made it into the driveway without stalling, or dropping her, or ending up on the neighbors grass. Whoo hoo!

Today's accomplishments!

1. I rode Miss Patience to the Harley Davidson dealership. It isn't far, but I had to ride on a couple of BIG streets to get there, with traffic and everything. LOL.

2. I got up to 5th gear and almost 50 MPH. Previously I had only reached 3rd gear.

3. I was able to downshift when I needed to without any trouble.

4. I changed the bulbs in my turn signals. I know it isn't hard, but it's the first semi-mechanical thing I've done myself to my bike.

5. I rode to one of my jobs. Dave was nice enough to escort me, and then come back when I was done. (He's so awesome!)

6. We rode over to the hospital to see our friends and their beautiful new baby girl. Dave took me through the hospital parking lot, which was far scarier than any road I've been on.

7. I got a "thumbs up" from an elderly woman who was stopped next to me at a light.


Okay, now, so you don't think I'm just patting myself on the back, I'll tell you the bad stuff. (Well not bad, just things I need to work on.)

1. I have this really bad habit of gripping the throttle very tightly while I am stopping, and/or stopped, so at the same time I'm braking, I'm giving it throttle and revving up the engine.

2. I have some kind of mental block when pulling into the driveway at Dave's house. As you may recall that is where I dropped my bike. Well, today, I pulled in the driveway and then ended up on the neighbors grass. It sounds worse than it was, he uses it like a driveway anyway.

My Saturday Ride

Last week was a busy week, with that and my broken toe, I didn't ride. Since Riley would be at his dad's house this weekend I was looking forward to getting on Patience and getting out for a little bit of practice.

Well, plans changed, as they sometimes do. We ended up riding with Bernie and Carol over to Seaside. Since Seaside is 20 miles away, and you have to go on the freeway, it looked like I was going to be bitch for the day. (Some might say I'm a bitch every day no matter where I sit.) But it was ok, we had a nice ride over there. I was kicking myself that I didn't have my camera, there were some great photo ops. After we got to Seaside we made several stops just for trivial stuff and then took the long way home.

We stopped at the coffee shop to get some coffee. Duh! We were just sitting around talking and Dave asked if I wanted to keep riding (with him) or go and get my bike and practice. I definitely wanted to go practice. Bernie had some work he was doing on one of his bikes so they were going home to do that. He has a windshield that he said would fit on my bike and we could put it on and see if I liked it, so Dave told him we would ride over to his house. What? He lives five miles away, and I have to ride across busy streets to get there. Hmmm, can I do this?

Dave assured me that I could do it. He told me just to stay calm and relax and I could do it, but could I try to increase my speed this time so we were at least going the speed limit. LOL.

So we went to get my bike. I started her up and tried to stay calm, telling myself I could do it. As soon as we pulled out of the first street I almost popped a wheelie, oh no. That freaked me out, and I really got nervous. Then Dave turned left, I went to put on my turn signal and hit the horn instead, it startled me. Dave heard the horn and pulled over thinking that I was honking at him. He asked if I was ok, and I said, "No, I don't think I am. I'm just really freaked out." He didn't know about my little stunt so he couldn't figure out why I was so nervous. He gave me a little pep talk, and calmed me down, and then we were off again.

I relaxed a little bit and told myself to just take it one stop sign at a time. And guess what? I remembered the clutch every time. I have this little mantra now when I go to stop. It goes, "Clutch and brakes, and downshift, clutch and brakes, and downshift." Hey, it worked. My stopping is getting much better, and I didn't have any problems with the turns this time, even some that were a little bit harder than what I'm used to. I was starting to feel really good. I had a few assholes that got on my ass, but I just kept my cool and kept going. Before I knew it we were at Bernie's house. Yeah! That was the farthest I had been away from home. I felt good. We sat and chatted for a little bit, and Bernie put the windshield on for me and we were on our way again.

We decided to stop by and see Wolf before we went home. The ride from Bernie's to Wolf's was even better. I felt totally comfortable, ok, almost totally comfortable. No wheelies, no stalls, just riding. I was keeping up with Dave (for the most part), and I was happy.

While we were at Wolf's, Dave asked if I wanted to try to make it to the coffee shop. Well, it isn't as far as Bernie's and I did that ok. One of the streets we would have to go down is kind of busy, but not too bad. I figured I could handle it. By this point, the nervousness was gone, and I was aware of the other cars and stuff around me, but not paranoid.

As soon as we pulled up to the coffee shop, I turned off my bike, and let out a "Whoo hoo!" People were looking at me like I was crazy, they had no idea what an amazing accomplishment this was for me. But I knew. This was so exciting for me. It's a great feeling to know that I just go a little bit further every time.

The ride home was good, although I did stall a couple of times, just a reminder not to get too cocky, I am still learning.